Meet Me At The Oasis

Sydney Morning Herald

Saturday February 24, 2007

Ben Hills

Ben Hills discovers a refreshingly different guesthouse in the state's hot and dry north.

A funny thing happened on the way to the rubbish tip; we chanced upon one of the most extraordinary guesthouses in Australia.

The curiously named Retreat at Froog-Moore Park is on the left, just as you get to the sign warning you to "Cover Your Load." It lurks behind a thicket of shrubs where an ordinary suburban street peters out into bushland on a hill overlooking Tamworth.

Yes, Tamworth. Home of buck-jumping, yee-haw and unwanted Sudanese refugees. Though, to be fair, the night we were there the council changed its mind and decided to accept some more, so perhaps next year's country music festival will welcome the likes of Abd El Gadir Salim strumming his qanun in the main street.

That's everyone's first reaction, says our welcoming hostess, Sandy Moore, as she places pots of tea and a platter of tiny home-made pecan tarts on the table to revive us after our long, hot drive from Brisbane - what's a place like this doing in a town like Tamworth? The second thing arriving guests say is that it's just like walking into Dr Who's time-warp Tardis; one minute you are in a deepest, dustiest suburbia, the next you are transported into a fantastic virtual reality.

As soon as you walk into the air-conditioning, refreshing as a plunge in a pool, you realise some interior-design genie has escaped from its bottle. Our quarters, the Succulent Suite, can hardly be called a mere suite, consisting of a library stacked floor-to-ceiling with books, a TV room, a spacious bedroom with its own balcony, and The Tower.

The Tower? That's the private dining room, and it really defies description. The walls are all midnight black, slashed with vertical windows, vaulting up five metres or so to a golden cupola set high overhead in the ceiling. This striking setting is offset by a melange of oddly matched objets: a stuffed black and white kitten curls on a curtain drape next to a pair of red high-heeled shoes, a showcase on the wall contains various Edwardian knick-knacks, Venetian carnival masks and a wooden Buddha lurk nearby. There's a waft of incense in the air and New Age music tinkles away in the background.

After tea, we unpack our bags - noting approvingly the soft, fine linen on the bed, the large towels on the heated rack and, with some curiosity, a jazz band of metal frogs, a smug china goat and a wooden cat draped on the bed-head. We then head into town to see whether the festival (it officially began the following Saturday) is warming up. There are a few buskers already in the main street but the main action is around the town hall where several hundred local worthies, egged on by some TV crews, are gathering to lobby the council to accept the Sudanese.

Still, Tamworth's not such a bad place on a warm summer night, certainly a lot livelier than a lot of other rural centres where you could get stuck for the night. We are glad we have chosen to return to Sydney via the peaceful, near-deserted New England Highway, rather than risk our lives under the wheels of thundering B-doubles on the disgraceful goat track of the Pacific Highway. We down a beer on the veranda of The Vault, a bank-turned-bar, before returning to the guesthouse.

We are not sure where to go for dinner and ask our hosts whether they could fix us something to eat.

"We can offer you the quickie," Sandy says.

"I beg your pardon?"

"The quickie, it's a platter of hot and cold things. I'm sure you'll like it."

It turns out to be exactly what we feel like. Served under the stars on the balcony, the wooden platter bears a collation fit for a king: pesto muffins, grilled salmon and prawns, barbecued pork fillet, lamb sausages with a cherry relish, broccoli, the last zucchini from the drought-smitten garden and a salad with pears and parmesan. With a bottle of crisp sauvignon blanc, it is the perfect supper.

The following day, introducing ourselves, we inspect the rest of the guesthouse. It turns out we haven't seen the half of it. Sandy and her husband, Peter - she's the designer, he's a cabinet-maker - bought this 4500 square metre block on the outskirts of town in 1991 and have spent the past 15 years indulging their design fantasies building what they call "the perfect adult escape", filling the huge house and an adjoining small conference centre with furniture and decorations they bring back from their frequent foreign travels.

There are four other suites, each with its own exotic theme, with the curious feel of a high-class Tokyo love hotel. The Moroccan room, with its tented ceiling and walls, its day-bed and fancy-dress outfits for guests (Arab robes, pointed slippers) is like a fantasy Kasbah. The Japanese room is a stylish nouveau-Japanese setting, with old-world touches such as a collection of sake thimbles. And then there's the dungeon - the sort of place Madam Lash would love, all granite block walls (actually, Formica replicas), iron doors, crimson curtains, shiny steel poles (one elderly woman thought they were provided to help people haul themselves from their wheelchairs) and a riding crop positioned prominently on the bed.

The fifth suite, the Henderson Room, is that rarity in the country, a purpose-designed room for people in wheelchairs.

The Retreat provides darts, boules, croquet and badminton, but unfortunately the star attraction - the spa - is out of action when we visit. As with the rest of the place, it is over-the-top: a six-person spa set in a Disney-style version of Davy Jones's Locker, painted blue, with fluorescent fish swimming on the walls and ceiling, draped with nets and an old row boat.

Dawson's, the accommodation directory, has just awarded The Retreat the curious title of Most Unique (sic) Accommodation in NSW and the ACT. It certainly lives up to its reputation.

visitors' book

Retreat at Froog-Moore Park, Tamworth

78 Bligh Street, Tamworth, 2340

BOOKINGS

6766 3353; www.froogmorepark.com.au

PRICES

From $165 to $245, depending on the suite, includes cooked breakfast.

HOW FAR IS IT

Tamworth is 428 km north of Sydney via the New England Highway.

CHILDREN

No.

WHEELCHAIR ACCESS

One suite fully accessible and equipped.

SMOKING

Outside only

PLUSES

Excellent cooking, accommodating hosts, choice of luxurious or exotically themed rooms.

MINUSES

None, really.

Rating 18/20

Next week

Golfing at Magenta Shores.

© 2007 Sydney Morning Herald

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